In this type of "economic crisis", what is a luxury? Is it your daily coffee? Trips to get pedicures? Buying organic? How do you balance a family, a full-time job, cleaning, cooking, quality time with the family, and finding time alone? When did time alone really become a luxury? I realized the other day that the only real time I have alone during a typical weekday is a few minutes each evening in the bathroom. I know...sad but true. I work during the day in an office 25 miles from my house and typically I commute with a colleague. Great for saving money and time but not so great sometimes for the soul. Even the ten minutes I spend driving alone to and from the park-n-ride don't count as alone time right? So I decided I needed to focus on me more and as selfish as that seems to my sensibilities, I think it is necessary for my sanity.
I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and self reflection over the last several months...well longer than that really but for my specific point for this moment, let's say it has been just the last few months. I realized that I have a voice inside my head. I know how that sounds - sign me up for the looney bin now - but I have come to realize that this voice is somewhat of a narrator and that there is a constant story going on in my head. What if I wrote those things down? Let them out and shared them? Maybe that would lead me to my purpose that I have been searching for for several years. I have always known there was something more out there for me. Don't get me wrong. I have a great job that pays well and I have to keep to pay the bills. And I am good at that job, I like the people I work for and I can stick this out. But I am not passionate about doing this job. I have come to realize that I want to set my own schedule, make my own rules and make enough money doing that, so I can stay home with my two kids and have one more. Is that crazy? And in this time in history, is that an impossible wish? A luxury? What am I willing to do to get there?
